Thoughts From A Single 20-Something

 

First let me point out that this is not an angry spiel.

And I am not an angry girl.

I tend to be a very happy person. Normally.

But, seriously though… this is not at all a note from a girl who has guy issues, or who “can’t get some”. No offense, but that’s just not my style.

Call me old-fashioned but I was brought up to have my first with my husband – yes I am saving my first for marriage.

I have been single all my life.

Well technically no, because I have family and friends and Christ. But in terms of having a lifelong companionship, I can honestly say I am very lost. I have no idea of the do’s and don’ts. If you put me in a room with a bunch of TOTALLY GOOD-LOOKING GUYS to choose from, I would probably fumble over my words and just giggle.

It’s not my fault, not really anyway…

…suddenly a girl hits her 20’s and she’s being married off  to the next available guy by everyone and their momma, irrespective of whether or not she’s ready. The other day dad said to me – “So… when are you getting married?”, and lets just say he did not get a happy look from me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents! But the reality is, for a long period of my life – [pre-teen + teenage years], I was told not to hang out with guys. OK WAIT, THAT’S A LIE. I wasn’t specifically told NOT to, but it was IMPLIED. There was a “culture” in my home – no dating or fraternizing with the opposite sex until after you’re married.

How does one go from that to – BAM! Marriage

I’m sure everyone knows their parents well enough to act a certain way around them. I remember anytime I would ride in the car with my dad, I would busy myself with something whenever a TOTALLY GOOD-LOOKING GUY drove by, because I was worried it would prompt a very awkward conversation, in a very closed space, with absolutely no escape whatsoever. And now? Even mom randomly bursts out to me in public – “Wow, that’s a handsome looking man”. [inserting side-eye]

How do you know if you’re ready when you’re not completely sure what to expect?

I have liked, and had crushes. I currently have a crush who doesn’t know, and probably will never know… but like I said, single people sometimes just don’t know what to do. Maybe we’re not ready, maybe we’re just intimidated. Or maybe we simply have no clue how to go about these things.

…maybe the natural thing should be that we should already be in a relationship at this age.

And the pressure increases when everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) gets married.

Facebook in the summer looks like a wedding look-book; Instagram has pictures, of “I said yes”, and engagement photoshoots, and bridal parties

No one’s complaining, really…

But you know what’s funniest? When Mr. DJ calls all the single ladies to the dance floor to catch the bouquet. Sigh… I never go, and its just for personal reasons (which I’m not exactly sure of yet.) But if I had to guess I just don’t think it’s cute seeing ladies scrambling on the floor to get a bouquet so they can get married next. (maybe one day I will try it just for the thrill)

Oh, and I absolutely love, LOVE, when people have the best advice for you on getting a man because they’ve been in relationships that have “STOOD THE TEST OF TIME!” Because 1-3 years is more than enough time… Uh, NO! (this is not for friends that actually have great advice). Listen, I respect all levels of relationships, but if it’s tiresome to constantly get pushed into marriage from someone in a 20+ year union, it’s not any better coming from someone in a young relationship.

In all honesty, cut us some slack.

I don’t think anyone grows up wishing they were single at certain ages. And this is especially for all the twenty-something’s out there loving the single life, while waiting for their better-half. You know what my favorite thing about this ‘waiting’ process is? – Being called a Strong Independent Woman. I don’t take that lightly, because even if it’s not by choice, I embrace it baby!

And I just want to say to you, and myself – Be patient.

I think it would be a lot worse if we rushed into such an important part of our lives after waiting all this time, only to regret our choices “sadly ever after”. At the right time it will happen. And we will know when that time is… Hopefully.

This is my statement to people who ‘inquire’ about my status all the time – “When I know, I’ll know. You know?”