Journaling · Speak Up

The Spark – 15 Lessons From The Year


15. Being nice is overrated!

Don’t get me wrong, being nice is a good thing. It’s a great thing! But I learned the hard way that if something is bugging you, nice doesn’t cut it. You gotta be assertive! Nice people tend to timid sometimes, and I get it. It’s so much easier to back off so you don’t come off as rude. But it’s very possible to be assertive without being rude. That’s the best combination there is! Don’t allow your niceness to overshadow your strength. You gotta do what you gotta do. “Be assertive, be, be assertive”!

14. I don’t believe in giving up on things.

You and I both know giving up stinks. You only end up regretting what you don’t try. So find other ways of making what-you-want-to-happen possible. Until you know that you KNOW that you used EVERY single possible avenue, you never give in. And there are LOTS of ways. Infinite. Trust me, if it’s not a calculus derivative equation that has only 2 possible ways of arriving at the right answer, you don’t give up on [anything] when it doesn’t work only the second/third/fourth/etc time.

13. Letting go does not mean giving up.

Somethings are just not meant to be. <<< This! Sigh.. pains me to finally admit it, because I’m the most optimistic everything-can-happen-if-you-believe-and-work-at-it-hard-enough girl you will ever meet. However, I have come to realize that some stuff just isn’t worth the constant struggle and mulling over… sadly. [and whatever ‘stuff’ that is, is totally up to your discretion]. So if you’re trying really reallllly REALLY hard and holding on to something that’s not healthy for you in the long run, just let it go. At least you can say you didn’t give in willingly! So just keep hope alive, but let it go. If it’s meant to be, you’ll have [it].

12. Challenges are never permanent dilemmas…

If it is, there’s a problem… They are only meant to be TEMPORARY annoying bugs that shape area(s) of your life. Well, it has been a heck of a challenging year! I thought my last two years of college was rough, but this year had its own “special” issues. But I made it through. and You did too. Maybe you barely survived, but you’re here. And you should notice that if you push just a little hard enough, you move those challenging walls. You have more strength and ability than you think. Just give it one more shove. or two more. or how many ever more you need. You will always make it through.

11. Crying does not show defeat.

Whoever said it did, lied! I cry. A lot. Over the dumbest stuff actually… But this is not a crying girl’s biased opinion. It’s a fact. You gotta shed a tear sometime in your life. It helps clean out bacteria around your eyes (yes, there are tiny microbes around your eye). Silliness aside, crying helps immensely with healing. So if you need to shed a few tears over your heartbreaks, and failed days, and mistakes, and random emotional breakdowns, and good movies (totally aside the main point), go ahead baby! You got some healing to do, and there’s also millions of microbes to clean out :)

10. “…Let her anger spark itself into something that would create change, not just let it smolder inside, growing hotter and more painful”.

I read this in a book and immediately wanted it framed on my wall. I can’t tell you HOW MANY TIMES this year I felt frustrated about certain things. You know when some problems have the most simplest solutions yet everyone keeps dancing around the issue? and you want to just shake somebody to WAKE UP and see the answer right in front of them. I’m not saying to let your anger lash out and shake people, but don’t keep it bottled in either because frustration is the worst feeling to have. There are ways, people! There are ways! Use your ‘anger’ to spark a beautiful conversation and create a positive change.

9. Everyone has flaws.

No one is perfect. Everyone has their lists of issues. Yes, lists. That being said, see the best in others and say good things about people. Sometimes people’s flaws are written all over them, and it will bug you; but you don’t really need to point them out. You really don’t. Build people up through their strengths. Tearing them down because they are a certain way is not a nice thing to do.

8. Anything worth having is worth fighting for. You need to figure out what it is you want and fight for it; work for it – GREEK

I love watching reruns of my favorite shows. It’s kinda like re-reading my favorite books, it never gets old. Anyways, I heard this on an episode of GREEK and absolutely loved it. I think the hardest part is actually figuring out exactly what we want. And then the second hardest part is fighting for it. That takes a lot of determination and drive. Because it wont be easy either. What do you want? And are you working for it?

7.Your decision to stay positive will put a whole new spin on the crappy things.

Mahn! The story behind this statement is rather LONG! But I’ll spare you the details. Bottom line – you gotta make up your mind to smile through a lot of things. Life gets crappy more often than we want it to, and its mostly because of people and jobs and people and people and jobs and people. You know that’s the truth. So SMILE regardless. It’s not that hard. It really isn’t. Just lift the corners of your mouth. Hold it up with your fingers if you need to (I’ve done that). That’s what determination will do to you. You gotta determine to smile through a lot of things.

6. Compliment someone!

Do you know how happy you make someone’s day when you give them random compliments?! A little attention goes a long way folks. You have the capacity to bless someone with a sweet, lighthearted comment every single day of your life. Don’t waste that chance.

5. Support one another!

There’s something about having your own cheer group in your little corner of the world. You don’t know how good encouragement seems to the one who feels like they are at the end of the rope. Sometimes all people need to hear is that they are doing good, or that they can make it. You don’t have to wait to hear about the perils in ones life to give them a good word or an ear to hear their issues.

4Don’t apologize for this [ONE] thing!

If you have worked hard for what you have, or are in a place where few people are, do not apologize for it. People will make you feel like dreaming and working for something different is a “stuck up” move. Truth is they fear what you are capable of accomplishing. Be proud of who you are and what you’ve worked for baby! & In the words of Brandon Stanton – “There’s nothing wrong with knowing your value”.

3Make time for who & what you love.

There is no escaping life’s busyness. It will come as a rushing flood and before you know it you are juggling way more than you can handle, but you cant drop any because all are important. Even still, you need to make time for those you love, and for your hobbies and passion. Because one day it’ll hit you hard when you look back and realize you could’ve given attention to something that was very important to you but you ignored it.

2. BE the example of determination – BE the example of sacrifice; BE the example of internal FIRE!! – Tyrese Gibson

Sometime this year Tyrese  Gibson uploaded a video on FB and one of the things that stuck out was this quote! My favorite part is “BE the example of […]”. That carries so much weight its ridiculous! People look up to you more than you realize. Instead of TALKING about determination, sacrifice, drive, internal fire, BE it. Live a life where people see you as an example.

1. Don’t allow another’s attitude to determine your response.

This is huge! It’s hard… But it’s important. It’s difficult to be polite when someone’s demeanor is the definition of rude. Yet still, don’t allow their attitude to determine your response. It builds your character and shows dignity. And it affects that person in ways both of you won’t understand.

>>> The Last Word <<<

Some years will be tougher than others. That’s life. But take it all in stride. You will have some good. Cherish those and think on them when the bad happens. And don’t forget to appreciate everyone important in your life, everyday – Family & Friends.

I wish everyone a Happy, Prosperous, and Wonderful New Year! Dream, Inspire, & Achieve! The world is waiting for your great ideas :) You got this!!

Happy New Year! ~ Afehyia Pa! ~ Buon Anno! ~ Feliz Año Nuevo! ~ Bonne Année!

– A.

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